Stilettos and Diapers: The Choice of Gratefulness

7.25.2013

The Choice of Gratefulness

This move has been such a challenging time for me. Finding a place to live, packing for indefinite amounts of time, having the hubs gone all day, followed by work dinners, having to drive him everywhere so I have a car to register for school, tie up loose ends with the house, set up mailboxes and keep these boys occupied. It's just been a lot.

Last night, after 2 particularly challenging days in a row, I sat down and took a big breath. I thought about the 5 year old's meltdown in the store over the fact that I wouldn't buy him a $10 stuffed animal. About the baby's screaming at breakfast because I wouldn't let him stand on the table. About the horrific experience I had solo picking out home selections with the boys in tow. Y'all, the poor electrical guy looked at me, with eyes that said "can I please put my newborn child back in before he turns into that". 

When I look in the mirror and notice the alarming rate at which I'm turning grey, I tell myself that we're never moving again. That this is too hard and it's just not worth it.

If I think about the hard stuff, everything seems even harder than it is. These boys are feeling this move as much as I am. They're away from their beds and toys. They're missing the comforts of home. I have to remember that some of the insanity, is just their way of saying "what the eff is happening to our lives"

I made a fourth call this week to corporate housing to see if, by chance, there had been any furnished apartments come available. The lady I spoke to seemed as surprised as I was to see that there was one, just in the system that morning, that is coming available. Not just that, but it happens to be brand new, we can pick furniture and its surrounded by woods and walking trails.

If that's not something to be grateful for, I don't know what is.

We're moving to a beautiful city. We'll soon have a great apartment to live in temporarily. I'm going to be closer to my family. We get to experience the home building process again. The hubs has a great job.

If I sit and reflect on how challenging the day was, it's so easy to feel overwhelmed. To forget all the positives. All the blessings of this move. This is an adventure. A time that brings tons of change, but also wonderful memories for us and our boys. We may be in transition for a few months, but it's such a short time in the grand scheme of things. The time we lived in a hotel for 3 months, during our last move, now seems like a second in time. Sure didn't feel anything like that when we lived there.

I'm currently sitting and watching my boys run around a newly found park. A park on the water with ducks and a picturesque fountain. Yesterday, we were at a park with a splash pad, found a yummy new restaurant and made a friend at our hotel. All things to be grateful for, but they're so easily forgotten after the tantrum of the century. 

I've decided I'm making a choice. A choice to be grateful. And not just to think it, but believe it and act it. To push the negative to the back of my mind and focus on the positive. Yes, it's hard. Yes, my boys are acting like caged animals. (They kindof literally are.) But the good is far better to dwell on than the bad. 

10 comments:

  1. Love this post! I'm so glad an apartment came available! That's great. Can't wait to see you more often! xo

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  2. Hey girl..I will be praying for you and for your family as you experience these new adventures! Take time each day to think of 10 things you are thankful for...and it will all seem worth it.I love your blog and you are an inspiration to lots of people! :)

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  3. What a beautiful mindset to such a tough time...so glad you see the positive! It will all turn out great friend :)

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  4. i can not imagine the change that the boys are experiencing and having to come up with other ideas to throw at them, but if any mama can do it - it surely is you! this post is beautiful. know that i am so proud of you!! & your new home will be STUNNING. so many great positives indeed, well worth the wait! im always thinking of you!

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  5. I am so happy to hear you guys found a place to stay for awhile!!! Makes the new adventure even more exciting!!

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  6. I hope you all get settled into your new apartment soon. I know the stresses of moving with children. We're gearing up for our third move since we've had kids and so far we have hit a few road blocks too. However, I'm really trying to stay positive and focus on the good that will come out of our future move.

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  7. Girrrrrrl read my post tomorrow! We are living similar lives! Of course, I don't want to be all, "I'm sorry you're sad but look how much more my life sucks," (who wants to be that bitch, anyway? ;-) ) buuuuut it could be worse ;-) To make our new house happen, D and I are living with our parents... 2.5 hours apart from each other, and the dog in a third location. We see each other on weekends. For EIGHT MONTHS. Granted, it wasn't supposed to be that long, but that's what it will end up being. Late February through early October. Living with parents. And little personal space. And a 1.5 year old. And judgey family eyes. And now pregnant. With hormones. And a foul pregnant attitude. Hahaha! Poor Benny legit flipped a freak after D was here for an entire week because I don't think he remembered what it was like to have "dada" around for longer than 2-3 days at a time, and the week after vacay was a nightmare.

    It's so funny because I'm at my breaking point with living with parents, and apart, and I was trying to come up with options - all our stuff is in storage and there's zero furnished apartments out here, so I was thinking, "Hmmmm what can we do, what can we do?" And then I remembered your hotel living from years ago! I frantically investigated, but sadly, it would be several thousand a month, and with our growing construction loan and building expenses, we can't swing it. I'm sooooo cray jealous that you guys get to live together and in a hotel!

    But of couuuuurse, I have to give you bazillions upon bazillions of credit for entertaining not one but TWO kids in a strange living situation, getting one settled into school (holy moly), AND doing house-picking appointments with two kids ALONE. Holy freaking balls, mother of the year. I cannot, cannot, cannot imagine doing these house appointments with Benjamin, or with Benjamin and no "handler." (because obvi he's a zoo animal and needs a handler - ha!)

    So, soul sister, sending many hugs from one miserable construction mama to another. Holding hands via the internet.

    Creepy? Sorry. Hahaha ;-)

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  8. Clearly there comes a point when a comment should have been an email. Didn't realize how long that was until I hit, "publish." Hahaha!

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  9. What a great way to remember what's important! This too shall pass! :)

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