Stilettos and Diapers: Motherhood, Mother's Day and Lots of Bull.

5.15.2013

Motherhood, Mother's Day and Lots of Bull.

Mother's Day was a wonderful day for me. I slept in until 8:30 and I'm pretty sure the last time I did that was before children. I came down the stairs to breakfast, flowers and 3 smiling faces greeting me. We had a picnic, drank wine and then the hubs made me beef wellington for dinner. I didn't change a single diaper or put anyone to bed. I did all the playing and snuggling and none of the real work. It was a lovely break. 

{Boy Mom alert: bat sticking out from behind your head for a nice Mother's Day picture}


The next day, I woke up at 5:30 to a baby who had thrown up in his crib enough to make this nurse gag. I continued cleaning vomit all day and even scrubbed blue gatorade puke off the couch...twice. It was definitely back to reality. 

Around the whole Mother's Day weekend, I saw so many things about Moms. Working Moms vs Stay at home Moms. Who does it better? Who has it harder? Who is more privileged? I've seen the stuff before, but I feel like it came out in force over the past few days. 

I just want to call bull on all of it. I want to know, what difference does it make? (Said in my best Hillary Clinton voice) 

We're all Moms. We're all on call 24 hours a day. We would all drop anything and everything if our kids really needed us. We all love our children deeply and would go to the ends of the earth for them.  

This weekend, my neighbor was telling me how much she hates dropping her baby off at daycare. I can't imagine, really, how hard that must be. I also can't imagine how magnificent it must be to dress up for a purpose and eat my lunch without wiping a butt in the middle of it.  

She can't imagine the glory of staying in your pajamas all day long, if you want, or being able to workout during nap time. She also can't imagine curling into the fetal position in the corner because you've literally turned into a child due to gross lack of adult interaction.  

She peels into the driveway because she hasn't seen her baby all day. I peel out of mine the second the hubs comes home, so I can take a few minutes without hearing someone say Mommy. Her baby stays up late just so she can spend time with her, mine go to bed early because I can literally see my hair turning turning more gray as bedtime approaches. 

Motherhood is hard. Period. No matter what your motherhood looks like.  

We all work our butts off. On top of taking care of our kids, we all clean, cook and grocery shop. While I'd like to think I can get that stuff done during the day, I don't. I rarely can. The majority of my cleaning is nights and weekends, just like a working Mom. I don't have a perfectly clean house when the hubs comes home. We all change diapers. And you know what? I don't think working Moms get out of that. I bet the babies in daycare wait patiently till they're picked up to deliver that gift, much like a cat proudly delivers a mouse to the doorstep. (Which is totally gross, by the way) 

All of us are worried Mothers. We never stop worrying about safety, what they ate, what they didn't eat, how many times they pooped, who their friends are, how much they know and how much needs to be in their college fund. Whether we're with our kids all day or away from them, we're thinking of them. Our hearts either sink when we see them go diving off the couch, or when the daycare calls to say someones sick, or hurt.  

Some Moms have a choice. Some don't. Some work because they have to and some have to stay home because of the high price of childcare. Regardless, we all make sacrifices, just maybe in different ways. 

We've all given up parts of ourselves to become Mothers. To fulfill a desire that has been in many of us since we were young. We all deserve a pat on the back. We need to celebrate ourselves, and each other. Regardless of what we do from 9-5, we are the same. Not one better than the other, not one working harder.  

We're Moms and that makes us all amazing. 

27 comments:

  1. I love this post, Molly! I was having this exact conversation with a first-time mom-to-be yesterday at work. There are definitely highs and lows whether you stay at home or go to a job every day.

    Great picture of you and the boys! I hope Callan is feeling much better! And I'm glad you had a great Mother's Day - you definitely deserved it!

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  2. Great post and I completely agree. We may all live our lives in different ways, but what all of us parents have in common is that we love our children and are doing the very best we can for them! And that's what is important.
    Hannah

    thesublimetimes.blogspot.co.uk

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  3. *STANDING OVATION*

    Thank you. I don't know why there are so many moms that try to make themselves out to be like they have the harder job if they stay at home or go to work. Can't we all just agree that being a mom is hard no matter how you spend your day? I will admit there are many days when I wish I were home with Kennedy (especially after a really long after school rehearsal) but others I know I am doing what's best for her by providing for her and that I am there for her no matter what. You said it perfectly.

    And happy belated Mother's Day!

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  4. Very well said! Love you and the amazing mother you are!

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  5. Well said, Mama. I couldn't agree more. :)

    wordsaboutwaverly.blogspot.com

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  6. Absolutely beautiful. I love this post!! The comparisons are priceless and so true; at the end of the day we are all just mothers!!

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  7. Very well said!! Thank you for this!

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  8. This is awesome. Perfectly put, and I've been on both sides of the fence. They are both equally hard! Sharing this!

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  9. Wonderful message, couldn't agree more!

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  10. Great post, Molly! So true in so many ways!

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  11. Can I just say AMEN! I could t have written this post any better. I got chills reading it because it is so true! Motherhood is amazing but it is hard. Extremely.

    Thanks for putting a real spin on Mother's Day.

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  12. Great, great post! Seriously, I always say my little guy saves his poop for his mommy! It's like the second I walk through the door, he lets it loose! I don't get it, but after being gone all day I just want my time with him, even if it is wiping his little toosh!

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  13. Love this post! I have been reading your blog since Callan was born, but have never commented, but had to let you know I appreciate this post, you said it perfectly.

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  14. Well said!I coudn't agree more

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  15. GREAT POST, my friend!!!! You knocked it out of the park. Everyone has their own struggles that they deal with. No one is exempt from "Mommy Insecurity".

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  16. This is my favorite post you've ever written! So TRUE! Moms are Moms! We need to support each other more. We need to stop judging. Love this!

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  17. Such a sweet post Molly! I'm not a mama, but I can imagine it's a hard job no matter what the circumstances are.

    Glad you had a nice little break on Mother's Day :)

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  18. I absolutely loved this post and can relate to it so well. The amount of times I am told that I am lucky that I get to "stay home and hang out all day" is beyond frustrating. It's tough. But so is going to work and leaving your kids every day I imagine. You are so right that we all deserve a pat on the back! No more judging (from me included!).

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  19. Thank you for this post and being honest.

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  20. Beautifully said, Molly! I agree 100 percent. :)

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  21. Excellent post!

    I've always been a working mom. I don't know any different. I don't judge or speak negatively of moms who stay home. I couldn't do it. I don't want to do it. We each have our own way, and we are all moms. So true.

    Now the women who claim they are moms because they have pets... Those are the ones I want to slap just a little. Cats and dogs, although wonderful, are not the same as having kids. Not even a little bit.

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