The hubs gets home from a business trip today. When he leaves, I don't have to cook, do the afternoon tidy, or make the bed. (You really thought I make the bed when he's here? Funny.) I have a to-do list and I'm not afraid to use it.
I have plenty of time. In theory.
I used to work 4 days a week back when we were DINKs. My 1 day off, I cleaned the house, grocery shopped, ran all my errands and had a nice meal waiting on the hubs when he got home from work.
And now I can't do in a week what I used to do in that day.
I started work on a LarryBoy costume that I apparently promised to make. (My sweet 4 year old forgets nothing.) I wrestled on the floor with fabric and plastic bowls, a la super suction ears. I ended up putting it away while still in progress yesterday to get the boys dinner. I had to fight back the tears when Coop's excited voice called out "Mom, did you finish my costume yet?"
I hadn't finished it.
Just like those other 6 things on my to-do list, like organizing the shoe closet and decorating for fall, which I was more focused on than costume making.
Some days, I feel productive. But most days, I think I'm farthest from it.
And yesterday, I realized, It's my fault.
It's not because I'm a Mom and I have needy kids that keep me busy.
It's not because I don't have a housekeeper and I do all the cleaning myself.
It's because my idea of productivity has been skewed.
Yesterday was a productive day.
We played a new Wii game that made Cooper scream, he was so happy. We all 3 danced to the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse theme song. (Over and over and over) I fed my kids healthy meals. I made part of a LarryBoy costume. We picked out pumpkins for the front porch. I rocked my baby to sleep for both naps and bedtime. I snuggled with my big boy before he dozed off for the night. Then I stayed up until 3am making a Shutterfly album of Callan's first 6 months. And I had fun sitting in the quiet, smiling at the memories those pictures held.
Productive. Not necessarily in a visible way, but productive nonetheless.
I want my house to be tidy and relaxing. I want to do it all. But my house is clean and baby proof and no one's getting hurt by the 7 baskets of laundry in my room.
I've decided it's no longer about how clean the house is or if the laundry is folded.
It's about my family. It's about the creating the moments my kids are going to look back on and remember. And that? Is productive.