Stilettos and Diapers: What to expect when you're...grocery shopping.

8.10.2011

What to expect when you're...grocery shopping.

Grocery shopping used to be one of my favorite things. I could get my cup of Starbucks and stroll up every aisle getting inspiration for new meals. When Cooper was a baby, it was pretty much the same, only I had him strapped in the Baby Bjorn and he slept. 

But now, oh now, how things have changed. 

I dread the grocery store. 

It takes twice as long as it used to and there is no strolling or inspiration getting. 

What is there? 

Carts. Carts harder to drive than my 7 passenger SUV. Carts that have massive cars on the front of them that my child insist on having. Carts that are very difficult to see all the loot that your child has crammed in there until you get to the register.

Cars 2 and other branded crap. The marketing people are freakin brilliant. You have the regular simply gogurt that I like to buy without all the high fructose corn syrup and food coloring. Then you have the Cars 2 gogurt that is chocked full of that crap and $1 more. I always try to grab the simply gogurt as I keep up my jogging pace through the store, but that never works. Cooper always knows I'm trying to pull one over on him and lets out a scream for the entire store to hear. But I want the Cars 2 yoguuurrrrt! And away we go with my child happily holding yogurt with more color in it than a rainbow. 

Redbox. Redbox is awesome. Who can beat $1 for a night of entertainment? But when your kid wants a redbox movie every time you go to the store and its impossible to get it back the next day, I start to feel intense hatred for those redbox effers. The selection of kids movies is miserable and I keep renting the same movies simply so I can say, "be nice if you want to get a movie on the way out". 

I get my flustered self to the checkout and start throwing stuff on the belt, (now while trying to squeeze my huge belly in between the candy stand and the cart) when the cashier ask me, "did you remember your reusable bags?"

As much as I try not to, I feel like I always look at them with eyes that scream, you have got to be kidding me. I am lucky to not have burst into tears during this trip. (I saved my, I'm going to have 2 kids in 2.5 months meltdown for the car ride home.) And I don't get the luxury of drinking this whole bottle of wine tonight. Nope. That's for the hubs. The one that didn't have to endure this shopping trip. 

So we make it out, hours after we get started our fun outing, and watch our "new" redbox movie on the way home. And guess what? We get to do it again in 4-5 days. 

12 comments:

  1. I feel for you, my lil guy is good but the though of having another child terrifies me (my oldest is 19 so I didn't have that problem before). Anyways, I give him grapes (which I weight and label first) because he loves them and that way he gets something healthy why we shop. If I'm alone I refuse to get into those big cars, it is impossible! I also never buy any toy related things when they are (or where) with me so they dont get use to it...I know it's so hard...Hang in there!
    BTW thank you so much for my Cereal Box, love it. Will be posting about it soon

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  2. Oh honey. This is part of the reason that John does the grocery shopping. One child, preferably a baby? A piece of cake shopping. A toddler that can recognize princess crap? No thank you. I stopped going to the store, therefor, we had no food, plus John complained about how much I spent vs how much he spent? Mmmkay. You can have that job, friend.

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  3. I have no idea what this is like and I dread it!! I still hate to go to the grocery store, though!

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  4. This is why I grocery shop in the evenings after my husband gets home. Or save it for the weekend when he can watch them. Is this an option for you at all?

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  5. if it's any consolation I understand- I'm you but 2.5 months from now. I have a 2 yr old girl and a 2 month old girl. and my husband is deployed. grocery stores {or any stores for that matter} have become my own personal public humiliation place of HELL. true story. the toddler wants something, throws a tantrum and the baby sympathy screams. on the bright side? it IS getting better!! :)

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  6. I did it with all three of mine yesterday :p... It is the most dreaded task of a mother yet. I keep telling myself I will miss these days one day... We'll see.

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  7. I almost never take my kids with me to the grocery store. For the very reasons you listed above.

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  8. This is why I go grocery shopping on the weekend by myself and leave the girls with Daddy! So much nicer and I can actually think!

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  9. I get you! Grocery shopping is horrendous! I have that same eye thing that screams some profane thing when they ask you for the 11th time if you would like to donate a dollar to prostate cancer, and you have the other 10 times, but this time , NO! No, no, no! ---On a positive note, I have an award for you on my blog if you want to stop by and check it out.

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  10. I usually go to the store by myself (it's my "alone" time, you know!). Hubby used to asked what took so long at the store, but after a few evil eyes, quit asking! Sounds like you need a little "you" time :)

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  11. Awww, Molly, I have SO been there! Hang in there sister. I'm not going to say it's easier with two, but maybe you'll get to work out a system where you can leave the kids at home and do it on your own. I really don't like grocery shopping with or without kids, but it's certainly more peaceful without! I still take both most of the time. My "prize" for Tyler at the end of the store is a cookie from the bakery. :) Everyone has their system.

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  12. Wait till Daddy comes home. It's sad to say that some weeks grocery shopping is the only alone time I get all week! But it saves my sanity to do thst one thing alone! Good luck dear!

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