5.25.2011

Getting honest: One of THOSE days.

Yesterday was one of THOSE days.

One that you go to bed with puffy eyes knowing you failed your child in every way imaginable.

One that as soon as the hubs comes in the door, you breakdown and tell him you are ready to go back to work. Why did I think this whole SAHM thing was the best anyway?

Would a day care worker seriously ever say "because I said so" and stick their tongue out in return?
Ya, I think not.  

I felt like these days were few and far between for me. I consider myself to be a pretty patient person and it typically takes a lot to put me into a tailspin. But not lately. Lately, my angel of a 3 year old has learned every. single. one of my buttons and has taken his 'tude to a whole new level. Where did this kid even come from?

There's been hitting, spitting, chanting "no" and screaming that I'm sure makes my neighbors blood curl.

I know I need to get this under control, but I'm not really sure how. Time out seems to be really played out. Carrying him to his room for "quiet time" is getting literally impossible since me and my preggo belly are out of breath once we get to the top of the stairs.

He seems to be much better when we leave the house every day. He loves to go shopping and in an effort to maintain better behavior, I'm thinking this may need to be done on a daily basis.
Someone tell the hubs so I don't have to.

Bottom line is, I want to be a good Mother. I want (I think!) to be home with my kids every day. I want my kids to have fun and not feel like Mommy was in a pissy mood all day. I want to have a clean house and dinner on the table every night. Oh, and I don't want to completely loose my mind in the process.

Too much to ask?

23 comments:

  1. Girl, everyone has those days! Mine are more frequent than I'd like to admit. I'm not dealing with the 'tude and screaming yet, but I feel where you're coming from. Some days I feel like I fail miserably at this whole SAHM thing. There's dirty dishes, my husband barely has clothes to wear to work because I haven't done the laundry, there are toys strung all over the house, the dogs smell, our plants are dying, etc. But....I went to Target, Jo Anns, and the mall that day! Hah! Emily does so well when we are out and about as well. You just have to do what works for you and your little one. It'll get better! Keep on keepin' on, sister! :-)

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  2. Take a deep breath! I'm not going to pretend I know anything about having a child under 6 or being a SAHM, but even after being gone all day, it is easy to come home frustrated and impatient. My husband says that just because I have a bad day with McKayla, it doesn't mean I'm a bad mom, it just means I had a bad day. And the good outweighs the bad!! :)

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  3. This so normal. And we have all been here. Although it seems like you are not making any progress right now keep being consistent. It will get through eventually. Also, if the timeouts are not working do some googling on other ideas to try. Every kid has a different discipline threshold. You just have to find the thing that "hurts" him. You are NOT a bad mom.

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  4. Totally normal to feel the way that you are feeling. Hang in there. This does not make you a bad mom, it makes you a wonderful mom for caring as much as you do.

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  5. The fact that you are concern for something so simple shows how much of a good mother you are already. This is a stage the MOST, if not all, kids go thru. My oldest is almost 19 and when I had my little one I kind of forgot some of the things that happen. Being a SAHM since September has been a challenge, I had always worked so not only I had that but having to get more relaxed about things has also been challenging. Aiden is in the "Mine", "I don't like it", screaming stage. Yesterday I had to leave the learning center we go because he had a tantrum (the first in public) so believe me, I feel you.
    Just relax, you are doing great.

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  6. I hear ya. But for me working only makes it worse. If I work and I have a bad day, which is often in my field, I come home completely beaten and with less patience. Keep your chin up!

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  7. Chin up! We all have those days, weeks, months... It will get better. I promise! You ever need someone to talk to, I am here for ya.
    Whoever said terrible 2's was EARLY!

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  8. Yep, this is exactly how I feel quite often especially since my son has turned 3 (last June). He is getting better, but dealing with 3 and being pregnant is even harder because you just plain don't have the energy or patience and they will test you on Every.Single.Thing. And the mouthiness....UGH!!! My hubby has given me and my son timeouts from each other when he has gotten home from work. Don't feel like you are a bad mama because you are soooo NOT!! I am pretty sure all of us mamas have been there at one time or another. This is just a very trying stage. Hang in there! It will get better!!

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  9. I totally had one of those days two days ago! I am not proud of my behavior but it is so much harder to be a SAHM than i ever thought! I'm doing it with a 4 year old and a 3 moth old, pray for us! Ha

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  10. Welcome to the Terrible 3's, not sure who said it was the Terrible 2's because my 2 yr olds were always good, but the 3's were a whole new ball game.

    Hang in there, you are a wonderful mom and he will grow out of this stage, trust me.

    When you put him in time out, do you use a kitchen timer? When I was a daycare teacher, we had a time out chair, and we had a kitchen timer. When a child would get in trouble, we would tell them in a calm voice what they were getting in trouble for, and how many minutes, we would never go over 3 minutes, since that is a long time for a child. Then you turn on the timer, and the child would always focus on it and it would calm them down, it worked like a charm.

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  11. I know exactly how you feel. I watch my 2 year old daughter and my friend's 2 year old daughter every day and some weeks I feel like all I do is yell and then I feel bad because I think they aren't having any fun because I yell at them all day. All you can do is try to do better the next day and if that doesn't work, there are an infinite number of new days.

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  12. It's totally normal Molly! Don't stress out about it. You just need to figure out what works best for disciplining Cooper now. Sometimes you gotta switch it up! I know spankings are out for y'all.. what about limiting his ipad time?

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  13. Oh goodness. This sounds like my days right now, minus the whole pregnancy thing. Jasper is definitely going through a stage. AND he has decided he doesn't want to go to sleep at night, so he sits in his bed talking for 2 hours before falling asleep- make for a VERY crabby soon to be 4 year old the next day. It's been going on for almost 2 weeks now and for the first time in 4 years I get jealous of my husband when he walks out the door. And then I snap at Jasper. And then I get even MORE upset because i feel like a horrible mom. But I'm hoping it's just a phase, and soon i will have my sweet boy back. There have been days though that I always wish I wasn't so agains spanking because seriously, I've come DAMN close a few times. Hang in there mamma!!

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  14. umm, yeah I feel like this pretty much EVERY day. So kuddos for you not feeling like this ALL.THE.TIME.

    I've been reading. A LOT. Because I have a defiant, strong willed two year old, that if told what to do, will do the exact opposite. My two faves right now are:
    Don't Make Me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. Very practical, gives practical examples and an easy read where I don't feel like she's preaching at me... it feels like my best friend wrote it and I'm asking for advice.
    I'm in the middle of The New Strong Willed Child by Dr. James Dobson. I literally almost cried at the beginning because itw as the first time someone wrote exactly how i feel. It has validated some of the emotions I feel, and has given me a new outlook on how to handle discipline. I think that even if you don't have a strong willed child, that it's worth reading the book. he gives great examples of what it means to be balanced between love and control over your children.

    Keep your chin up momma!

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  15. Oh, girl, the 3's are by far, the worst! It doesn't help that you are sick and pregnant, either! Give yourself a break and just know that we all have those days!

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  16. I am sure that you are more than a good mother. Toddlers go through those stages where they rebel and like to test the waters. Just hold strong to your guns and keep disciplining him. I know it seems like it's not working but it will pay off. In addition, to time out you can try taking his favorite toys.

    You can also start giving him a special treat on the days he behaves and when he doesn't, you don't give him the treats. This way he will have some motivation to keep his tantrums in check because at this age they truly need a little motivation. Now when they get older not so much.

    Hang in there. And if getting out of the house helps then hit the park, take a stroll around the mall or join a playgroup on MeetUp.com.

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  17. K picture this...your 5yrold leaves his $30 baseball glove somewhere (at the campground an hour from home) and you realize it on the way to the game. You return home from said game to find his new-ish tennis shoes have been the dog's chew toy while you were at the game. After a firm (& maybe loud) lecture in responsibility....he looks at you with the biggest saddest eyes and says "why do you love my little sister more than me?" worst.parenting.moment.ever.

    that was my monday. apparently it's just one of those weeks! you're a wonderful mom. treat yourself to some alone time this weekend and regroup. this too shall pass.

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  18. I know how you feel! I'm six months preggo with my third baby and I have a 3.5 year old and a 19 month old. Sometimes I wonder how I have any hair left because I feel like I'm pulling it out all day. There are days when I just attack my hubby when he walks in the door and say "They're all yours! I can't do this anymore!" Then I will lock myself in my room and take a nap or something. It's the only way I stay sane.

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  19. I have to give you props mama!! My time at work is way easier than my time at home with the babies....although I do LOVE to be with them :) Be patient...this is just a phase....and it WILL get easier!! (I hope :))

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  20. I've been having so many days lately when I feel like I'm DONE by the time my husband gets home. That I just want to go into my room and lock my kids out so that I can get a break. SIGH.

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  21. I felt like this on Tuesday... I keep telling myself... this too shall pass!!!

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