Stilettos and Diapers: April 2009


Bloggy friends? Is that what you are?

I quite often tell the hubs or my mom about my bloggy friends. I refer to the decorating or shopping tips you give, your hilarious stories or your beautiful kiddos. It is just kindof weird because I talk like we have been BFFs forever. I feel like I know so much about so many of you, and yet, some of you I don't even know your real name or where you live. Weird. What do you refer to your bloggy friends as? Wait, am I the only one that talks about the people online that I live vicariously through?

Today I let out a scream when I realized I lost a follower for the first time. As the Wonder Pets would say, this is serious. That means someone out there doesn't like me. Fine. Whatever. I am just going to sit here in the corner with my laptop, and my hurt feelings, and eat all of Cooper's leftover Birthday cupcakes.

You non-follower should feel bad because tomorrow, not only will I be sad, but I will be fat from cupcakes too.


Wordful Wednesday - There's no place like [Mom's] Home

I love visiting my family in southern GA. It is like going back to a more simple time. Coming from the bustle of California where the backyards are the size of a postage stamp, to the drive to my parents house, I feel a weight lift off my shoulders.

This morning, my mom not only made me freshly ground coffee, but she actually roasted it today too!

Another amazing thing about my parents house is the mall. Not the kind of mall you normally shop at. This mall only carries my size and everything is free. Some things are off limits, but that doesn't mean I can't sneak them into my suitcase. I am not stealing, I return everything most things when I am done. Sometimes I barter with my clothes. I love this mall. It happens to be my baby sister's closet.

I have tons of pictures from Cooper's birthday that I will share with you soon. We are having a party here tonight, so those have to be added into the mix! It is pretty much worth having a baby simply to see their little face when they gets cake and presents. Priceless.


One Year Ago today, I was in pain. Pain = Baby.

Right now we are celebrating Cooper's first birthday in Disney World! I just wanted to tell you all about one year ago...

Saturday April 26, 2008 at 6 am my water broke. I was 2 weeks over due and had a c-section scheduled for later in the week. I was ecstatic. My mom and baby sister (who is 10 and I delivered her when she was born at home) were here from GA to be with us for the birth. I labored for 12 hours at home with contractions ever 3-4 minutes. We walked, squatted, showered and walked some more. I distinctly remember looking up at my mom and saying "this is freakin sweet!"

This is me fixing my hair within minutes of getting checked into my room.
Let me explain. I am a certified labor assistant, and a nurse, and have been to lots of births. I wanted to go through labor so bad. Call me crazy, but I was looking forward to this very moment and was treasuring it all. I wanted to have a completely natural birth and be cool, calm and collected through the entire thing. Okay, back to the story.

I was starting to feel lots of pressure and the contractions were getting closer, so we started the 30 min drive to the hospital. I got all checked in and told every nurse that my Dr. told me I didn't have to wear a gown. He approved a cute black dress that I labored in. Hehe. I am such a snot. I had been in labor for about 13 hours and they told me I was 1cm. 1 freaking centimeter. I felt like I had done all this work for nothing. I tried to sleep, had lots more contractions and took a shower (then dried and straitened my hair and reapplied make-up for the 1st time). 6 hours later, they checked me. 2cm. Lovely. Nurse: "Try to get some sleep...this is going to take a while." Oh really? Thanks for that. Seriously. And you really think I can sleep when I am getting woken up with miserable pain every 2-3 minutes?

Sunday morning. Been at the hospital 12 hours. Total labor 24. My doctor was in Napa for the weekend and the on call Dr was getting antsy. She was about 4 months pregnant and her belly was hanging out of her scrubs. I was so distracted that I couldn't even focus on what she was saying. Anyhoo. I walked the halls 50 million times. I got checked and I was at a whopping 3cm. I was beginning to think that my girlie parts were broken. The nurse referred to my cervix as Fort Knox. That is so comforting. At about 2pm, I finally let them give me pitocin. They wanted to give me pain meds or an epidural, but I was hell-bent on not having either. Well, pitocin with no pain meds makes you want to slap your momma. Or hubby. Or anyone. I kept it together, squatting with every contraction that were coming about every 1 1/2-2 min apart now. I had my ipod in and I boogied. This lasted for about 6 hours. They checked me and I was 6cm. Yay for progress! I showered again (and yes primped again, too with help from my mom) and walked the halls lots more. The pain was getting to be ridiculous and at 37 hours of unmedicated labor, I was considering some pain meds. The nurse checked me and I was at 4 1/2cm. Wait! Wrong direction! Who knew when a girl who is 5'2'' tries to deliver the child of a 6'3'' man, it gets a little squished down there? I was so discouraged. I ended up getting something in the IV to relax me. They thought it would help loosen me up, but it just made me quite loopy and saying some weird things, apparently. I felt like I needed to push, but my cervix was swelling shut due to an alarmingly massive baby head in the southern hemisphere. Cooper's heart rate started to slow with the contractions and we got really scared. My Dr. came in just then from his Napa getaway and was so great. He told me I could keep trying or he could do a c-section. After 39 hours of giving it my all, I was ready to stop. I felt like I had failed myself, but knew I was doing the right thing for my babies health. As I walked into the operating room, (remember the crazy "relaxing" medicine) I got real close to my Drs. face and asked him if he was drunk since he just came in from Napa. He assured me that he wasn't and off we went! I did beg for a little shove and tuck if I was going to already be opened up, but I got denied. Psh.

I have been put to sleep before, but oh my, that half feeling, half not thing is so weird. I could feel pulling and pushing. I knew that there were 2 doctors pushing on either side of my ribcage to get some stuck body parts out. I knew the hubs was white as a ghost and there was no one there to catch him. Then I heard that little cry. My heart melted instantly. They lifted up this massive baby that looked just like my hubs and he peed on me. Yup. Over the curtain and in my face. Thanks, dude. I should have known then that he was going to be a handful.

Cooper William was born April 27, 2008 at 10:26pm, weighed in at 9lb 2 oz and was 21in long. Luckily, my Dr. was known for his C-section incisions and I ended up with a 5in beauty. I left the hospital 2 days later and my life has never been the same!
Even though I ended up having exactly what I dreaded, (the c-section) I know I did everything I could have done and just about all the things I wanted to do. I went through the whole labor just how I wanted, with no screaming, no cursing, feeling my body work as it was intended to and wearing my black dress. I just didn't do the pushing. Or the tearing. Or the painful sitting for weeks postpartum. I think in the end, I made out pretty sweet. No, really sweet.


Swine Flu is here...and I am scared.

The news of swine flu is running wild! I have to get on a plane with coughing, sneezing people next week before I can get home to my sterile environment. Eek! I want to make a huge poster board to hang around my neck for public appearances in the meantime. It will read:

I know my child is adorable, but not touchable.
Yes, you can see his lips through his passie. This does not mean you have to touch it to admire that fact.
His little cheeks are just begging to be pinched, but you may not.
He is usually barefoot. This does not give you permission to play This Little Piggy.
Those tiny hands flailing around? He is getting enough of your germs from the air, so hands off.

I don't want Swine Flu!


Welcome new niece and motorcycles.

I am a new Auntie! My sister-in-law (husband's sister) had a beautiful baby girl, Gianna Rose on Friday. She was a little peanut at 6lb 15oz. My little man was never that small! We got to come down here to Florida to see her when she was just a couple hours old. Even though the flight was probably the worst in all humanity, we made it, got to sleep at 3:30am and woke up to go see her at 7:30am. It is totally worth it, though. She is perfect! We will be here a few days, so I am going to be distracted from blogging, while snuggling on the couch with this little angel.

The cousins

This Orlando area is brutally hot, but nice. We are very close to the Villages which makes me want to retire ASAP and drive around in a high end golf cart. What a life. Do you think I could get away with having a car seat in one of those things? The hubs is determined to get in on a game of bocce for men over 65 while we are here, too.

On another note, after seeing the roads covered with loud motorcycles, we realized there is a bike fest going on here this weekend. Never have I in all my life seen so many tattooed biker chicks in bikinis. Wowzers. It is practically impossible for the kids to sleep in the car from the noise on the streets, or get into any restaurant in a reasonable time frame. Apparently, last year there were over 125,000 people, so good luck us getting up to the hospital today!

What biking fun.


What did you do all day?

This was sent to me by a mom in my Mom's Club, and I thought it was just too hilarious not to share. How true it is.

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a small trickle of water as it made its way out the bathroom door. As he peered inside he found wet towels, scummy soap and more toys strewn over the floor. Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap and toothpaste had been smeared over the mirror and walls. As he rushed to the bedroom, he found his wife still curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel. She looked up at him, smiled, and asked how his day went. He looked at her bewildered and asked, 'What happened here today?' She again smiled and answered, 'You know every day when you come home from work and you ask me what in the world I do all day?' 'Yes,' was his incredulous reply. She answered, 'Well, today I didn't do it.'


All free and WIERD! Goodies in my mailbox.

So I love getting free stuff. You all should know that by now! I signed up for the free Kashi frozen dinner coupon, Juicy Juice Sippy cup, Dove body wash, Dunkin Donuts Coffee, ect... I never sign up for something with a catch, just the real freebies. I also never remember I signed up for the stuff until it comes in the mail. They always say 6-8 weeks for processing or whatever, so my mind has LONG forgotten it. Then I am surprised and giddy when I get a little package. Hehe.

Today, the hubs brought in a little Dunkin Donuts box and said "you always get free stuff in the mail!". Then there was a small manila envelope with my name on it. I opened it up and inside I found 1 Trojan condom. Not just any condom, the Magnum LARGE size one. Niiice. It also says "Free Sample" in bold yellow on the bottom. How do you think that would go over on a date?

Well, the thing is, I didn't sign up for condoms even though the note said I did. And I was a little embarrassed when I opened it in front of the hubs. He probably doesn't believe me, and neither do you. Oh well. Maybe it is just a sign to not have another baby anytime soon. Hum. At least I am nervy enough to share my happy mail day with you.


(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

We had a great weekend in Sacramento with some friends. On Saturday us girls (plus Cooper) shopped, had lunch (yummy crepes!) and layed out at the pool. The boys met up with us later for some grilling and Watermelon Mojitos. So delicious, thanks to the fabulous newlywed hostess with the mostess, Maggie.
This was Sunday morning waiting for brunch at a delicious restaurant known for its custard dipped french toast. I loved it. Then again, I love all carbs.

Cooper rockin' his shades. How am I ever going to tell this face no?


Bike Trailer

I really want a bike trailer. I have been weighing the pros and cons and trying to decide on a good brand. I could use some opinions. Until then, here are the rattlings of my brain.

It is fun.
Exercise = good shorts legs.
Cooper loves it outside.
It is big enough for another baby, unlike the single seat on the back of the bike. (No, I am not pregnant)

Cooper has to wear a helmet.
I have to wear a helmet because I am an example. (I am so not okay with this)
I have a major fear that while zooming along, I will look back and the trailer will be left in the intersection. Then I will freak, fall off my bike, scrape up my now fabulous bike riding legs, run to the rescue and save Cooper all while looking like a fool with a massive helmet falling off and covering my eyes.


Missing items...reward if found.

I lost a package of brand new sippy cups. I bought them last week and while I was getting Cooper a drink last night, realized they are nowhere to be found. I searched everywhere in the house and car. Nada. It is not like they are little. There were 2 cups and they were in a big square package. I made myself crazy last night thinking "if I were a sippy cup, where would I be?" I guess I am going to have to take a trip to Target today. Pity me folks.

I am also supposed to be bringing some old x-rays to my Doctor and I haven't found them. Well, I haven't looked for them. I know where they are though. They are in a rubbermaid tote in the garage. Everything is very clearly labeled. Everything is also stacked up to the ceiling and 3 boxes deep. I am also greeted with a 6 foot cardboard cutout of this guy every time I open the garage door.

He makes me feel very protected, but he doesn't help with the lifting of heavy boxes or searching for x-rays.

I know I either have way too much stuff or need a bigger house. Lets go with the house thing. In my next life my garage will look like this.

If my husband read my blog, I think he would be very pleased.


SAHM aka Slightly Appreciated Hot Mess

What do you do? I am a Stay at Home Mom. Ugg. Sometimes I get tired of that. I decided I am more appropriatly a Slightly Appreciated Hot Mess. It tells more about me and what I actually do. I don't even have to change the acronym. Perfect.


The power of (rap) music.

Am I a bad parent for letting my baby listen to rap? But it makes him happy. He stops crying. He has sick rhythm. I am just nurturing a talent, right?

I first noticed this love when we turned his car seat around. I was listening to (ahem) Emenim, Crack a Bottle, and the kid busted a move. He can clap on beat and move his legs like he is break dancing in air. He was happy for the entire drive.

Second test came during the bewitching hour between 5-6pm when all kids are miserable and dinner really wants to be on the table. I plugged in my ipod and turned up the surround sound. He stood at the coffee table bouncing and laughing. Saaaweettt! It was like magic!

Now I play music all the time. So much so that I know his favorite songs are Flo Rida, Right Round and Pitbull, I know you want me. He does a special shimmy for these favs. Cracks me up every time. He also likes Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas. His middle name is William so I enjoy telling him "Will-I-Am drop the beat now"!

Do you think his first words will be be a run of rhyming lyrics scattered with bleeps that make no real sense? Honestly, if it keeps him happy, I am fine with that.


Spring Cleaning - Crotchless Panties

I am hurrying this morning (okay it was 11am) through my shower because Cooper is crying in the pack-n-play. I grab out a pair of undies and realize they are crotchless...and not in a good way. Why is it that I have bought Cooper 6 pairs of new jammies in the past month, the hubs got a whole host of new boxers for V-day, and I am still wearing these unmentionables that are barely holding together?

My underwear drawer is interesting. I have the falling apart ones, of course, that I seem to always gravitate towards. Then I have the cute "underbelly" maternity ones that my mom sent me while I was pregnant. They were great then when I couldn't see down there, but I put them on afterwards, and I may as well have never worn them. They are ridiculously low and pointless. Then there is the "butt floss". The ones that when the hubs folds laundry, he ask "how do you fold these" as he squeezes them into a fist and puts them in a pile.

Wow. That is alot of personal info. I am cleaning out the underwear drawer. Why don't you do the same? I bet there are tons of you who spend the money on everyone else but you. When it comes right down to it, you need you some new panties. (Hehe. I think panties is a funny word.) I do have lots of great ones in the bottom of the drawer. I hit up Victoria's Secret Semi Annual sale religiously. I just don't wear them because they are hidden under piles of tattered material and dry rotted elastic. I hate throwing away stuff, so there is my problem. I have cut up the hubs old t-shirts to clean with, so that is useful, but I don't suggest re-use in this case.

Kiss those crotchless panties goodbye.


Wordless Wednesday - Easter

Poop on the bed

Last night, I asked the hubs to change Cooper's diaper so I could give him a bath. The whole time I cleaned the kitchen, I heard from our room, "Coop, hold still dude. There is poop. You are going to get it on the bed!" He put him in the tub and I went in to do the bathing. Hubs came back in and told me, "I did get some poop on the bed, but it is just a little and I will put some shout on it." I am just thinking...lovely. Its on my side too. Of course it was on the duvet and not the sheets. Oh well, shout works wonders.

Fast forward several hours when we went to bed. It was a little chilly, so I pulled the covers up all snugly around my neck. Just then hubs turns over and whispers "sorry Molls, I forgot to shout out the poop."


So Cal Wrap-up

WARNING! This post will be lengthy.
Since you made it past my warning, I guess you really want to know about our southern California road trip. Where do I even start...

Monday we left at 7am and drove to Fresno. Laura, (my sis-in-law) Cooper and I dropped the hubs off with one of his work peeps and went shopping. We shopped all day. When Bill was done, we had dinner and went to the hotel. Non-eventful. We did start the P90X 90 day workout program the week before we left and were determined to do it the whole week, even in the hotel rooms. Dumb. I don't suggest 3 people kickboxing in a room with 2 beds and a pack-n-play.

Tuesday we drove to Santa Clarita where we found a brand new Super Wal-mart. It was heavenly. I know I am not supposed to be a fan of the big box stores, but seriously, there is something about the Super Wal-mart that moves me. Once the hubs was done working, we drove to Santa Monica and our hotel was only a few blocks from the beach. Gorgeous!

Wednesday Laura, Cooper and I went to the beach for a couple hours and then to the Third Street Promenade. We shopped some more (of course) and ate at Fatburger. It was yummy! It was also the worst of my diet breaks for the week. Ugg. By this point I was getting tired of eating out 3 meals a day, but still really enjoying not cooking or cleaning up!
We went walking around Beverly Hills that night and I am certain I saw Cher. Or maybe it was the Octomom?

The hubs also got a ticket for this.
Cooper gave us a fit that night for some reason and I ended up falling asleep with him before the workout. Oops. I woke up to a crash and found the hubs had kicked the lamp over during some extreme yoga pose. I couldn't help but laugh at him, but felt bad once I actually did the yoga. Miserable! Is it nowhere near relaxation to me.

Thursday morning we drove down to Anaheim. Right after we dropped the hubs off, we hit a road block. We found out it was the big car accident that took the life of the Angel's pitcher, Nick Adenhart and 2 others. It was overwhelming to see the cars and stretchers with bodies. I got sick to my stomach when we saw people taking pictures and sneaking past the railing just to get a look. We left immediately and I couldn't believe the amounts of people still there when we were back that way in the afternoon. My prayers are with his family.

That day was when Laura announced that she was sick of shopping and didn't want to go into another store. We also couldn't fit anything else in the car. So we went to Chuckie-Cheese. Thats right people. I did really do it for Cooper, and just happened to rock Laura's face off in skee ball and basketball.
Friday! We went to Downtown Disney for the morning and Cooper put on quite a show dancing in his stroller.

We headed for home around 1, but due to massive amounts of traffic, we had to stop at Pinkberry for awhile. Delicious. Thanks, traffic. It did take us an extra 2 1/2 hours to get home, but my oh my, was I glad to get home.

We did have alot of fun. We also did alot of waiting in the parking lot either for Billy to finish work, or for Cooper to wake up. I (no one else) did alot of singing in the car and waving to random people. I changed way too many dirty diapers in the car. We went to Target at least 5 times. I learned that the Kiddopotamus Tiny Diner is essential to eating out and that baby neck pillows are freakin' adorable.


Finally home and give Cooper a vote!

I am finally home from our LA roadtrip. Yay! There was nothing better than peeling Cooper out of that carseat and promising him an entire day without going anywhere. I am so glad he can now crawl around, because seriously. Hotel floors are disgusting. No, beyond disgusting.

I missed you all. Really. I love reading your post and I am in desperate need of a date with Google Reader. I have a million things I want to tell you, but the massive laundry piles and Easter egg dying await me. I will tell you all about it really soon! In the meantime, we entered Cooper in a cutest baby contest from our local radio station. Follow this link and go vote for him! He is #185 and is the cutest one up there. I checked so you don't even have to. Aren't I nice?


Au revoir...just for awhile

I wanted to tell you all that I am going to be MIA for the week. The hubs has to work in LA this week and I am going to tag along. I have had some interesting encounters when I have done this in the past. One day in November, we were driving down south somewhere and he had to get on a conference call. We didn't really think about how that would go down with a baby in the car...well, it didn't go good. We were in the middle of nowhere, giving us nowhere to stop but on some little dirt road to someones farm. Cooper and I stood outside breathing in the sweet aroma of cow poop while Billy was on the call. Every time I thought he was okay to get back in the car, he would start screaming. Lovely. I ended up sitting on the bumper feeding Cooper lunch and some poop fumes. Before we left, I had 2 people pull over and ask if we were okay. So embarrassing.
I have spent lots of time driving around aimlessly, waiting on him to be done working so we can check into the hotel. It really sounds like a miserable experience, but there are positives. Continental breakfast. Enough said. I love it way too much even if it is the worst food ever, and I have no clue why. I don't have to cook dinner for the whole week. I can shop and spend way too much time in every store because I have nothing else to do. I don't have to clean or make the bed. That in itself is amazing.
Best thing about this trip is that I am going to the beach. Yippie! Yeah, I would pretty much do anything to get a sweet tan.
See you next week!


Easter Basket Craftiness

So I decided that I wanted to create some sort of special Easter basket for Cooper. I went on the hunt for ideas and there are so many adorable ones out there! I was tempted to just buy one, but I really wanted to make it myself. I found one really cute one that I wanted to kindof follow, but then my lovely computer shut off and I could never find it again. I dreamed about it. I couldn't stop thinking about the Easter basket. I would just wing it.
We hit up Old Faithful (aka Joanns) and got some ridiculously precious material. Well, one thing I didn't get from those cute baskets, was the size. I kept asking the hubs and my sis-in-law, who is visiting, how about like this, or this? (holding up bowls and pots and anything else circular) They both kept saying, I think it is too big. Well what about huge hollow Easter bunnies? I would wail. It is going to be half full of grass. I took matters into my own hands and started sewing.

It only took one night, but I was up until 12:30, refusing to go to bed until it was done. Well, when I finished and put the grass in, I realized, it is massive. I think it is 3/4 of Coopers height. Oops. Why don't I listen? There is no way he is toting that bad boy around. It is really cute, though. I love it. Maybe we will use it as a toy bucket for a couple years.

Don't look too close, you can really tell I had no pattern and had no idea what I was doing!


(Almost) Wordless Wednesday

Brazil's President, while meeting with British Prime Minister Gordon Brown Thursday, said the global financial crisis was caused by "white people with blue eyes." Well, blame us people. It's all our fault. Sorry.

Head over here to check out more Wordless Wednesdays at 5 minutes for mom.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

First off, I wanted to let you all know that I am still alive...yay! I had my chest x-ray and that was good, now waiting on my stress test on the 13th. Today was my first chest pain free day in a while, so I am probably going to be all better by then. Not complaining about that!

I realized I have not given you an update about the my "nannying" in a while. Don't know if I really consider myself a nanny, but whatever. I babysit 2-3 days a week, and it is basically like long play dates. Well, except for the fact that I have a toothbrush and pair of slippers permanently at someone else's house. Anyhoo, the boys are playing more together now. When I say playing, I mean snatching toys away from each other and beating each other up. I was making lunch yesterday when I glance over and see Gavin take a book away from Cooper. Cooper immediately put both hands on Gavin's head, and pushed him down on the floor holding him there until I rescued the poor child. I think I would have given Cooper a hard time, except that earlier in the day Gavin had (while growling loudly) vice gripped Cooper's ankle while he was trying to crawl away. At least Gavin is crawling now, but it is only backwards. (Is that even normal?!) If I leave the room for a minute, I hear loud screeching and return to find he has shimmied his quite plump baby frame under the sofa. All you can see is hair coming out from the edge. I try not to laugh, because he is really pissed, but it is hilarious.

On a sad note, starting Friday, I am going to be computer less for an entire week! After spending a lovely evening with the Dell service guy last week, and hearing alot of stories about him selling parts ILLEGALLY, they are actually going to send me a new computer. Whohoo! They should because after that guy left, I had to air out the entire living room and put the pillows out on the back porch overnight. You would think that people spending that much time in people's homes would consider taking a shower. Yuck.

One more thing. I will quit, I promise! I won a Seventh Generation starter set from Laura over at Hey, what's for Dinner Mom?! I am sooo excited! Go check her blog out! Thanks, Laura!

My little peach decided to wake up at 4:45 this morning, so I am ready to remove the stints that are holding my eyes open right now. The coffee better flow like milk and honey tomorrow...
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