Stilettos and Diapers: January 2009



I have seen these snuggies on the infomercials and have always found time to make fun of them. Why can't people just use a blanket? I do. They look ridiculous. I am not sure if they have more resemblance to a monk or a giant oompah loompah. Then there is the walking issue. Do you have to take it off every time you get up, or do you just walk around like a penguin? What if there is an emergency? I am not sure if I would be more worried about getting down the stairs safely, or someone seeing me once I got outside. And my husband...poor guy. I am sure before we were married he never anticipated me wearing sweats, his t-shirts or going an entire day with no make-up. There are so many ways to make yourself less attractive once you are married, why add the snuggie? Now, there is a brand called the slanket...maybe that would be better. It sounds kindof skanky, right? On one of the infomercials, it shows an entire family, each in a snuggie. How nice. You think no one was willing to get up and answer the phone during an episode of American Idol before? They never will now. Maybe I should just pull out my old pound puppy sleeping bag and use it. That would be the same effect. The only difference is I would have to hold it up when I walk around. It would be like a potato sack race. Sweet. Despite the fact that they are hideous, they do seem quite useful. Don't I want to be all toasty while I watch tv? I know, I know. How could I? Wait, I have done it...I want a snuggie.

Doesn't she look happy?


The fall

Cooper took his first big fall today. He went head first off the bed and the thud was ridiculously loud. Cooper screamed so loud I think he woke the neighbors up. My first thought was what do I do? Well, first of all, I needed to get my act together, I am a nurse for crying out loud! Worse than that, I used to be a pediatric advice nurse that dealt with this all the time. Why is it that I could calm every sobbing mother when their kid took the plunge, but when it came my turn, my brain was like jello jigglers? (Side fun were those when we were kids, huh?) I tried to act calm, because Billy was ready to hit up the ER and shove anyone else out of line to get in. I kept saying, it's alright, he's fine, but inside I was really freaking out. I called his Doctor because I was still blanking on absolutely everything I knew. Now I was that mom I told myself I would never have to be. I thought working in peds would prevent me from having the first time mom panics...nope. One can never be prepared I guess. After keeping him awake for 2 hours afterwards, waking him up every 30 minutes of his nap (waking a sleeping baby? now that is painful) and eyeing him like a hawk all day, I am happy to say he is just fine. Ahhh. Injury #1...done! Good news...we did get to use the adorable Nemo gel pack he got in his stocking for the first time. Thanks, Santa.



I have to start by saying that we change cars around here about as frequently as socks. After all, I am a Lane and I think it is some kind of genetic disease. We are about to sell both cars and get new ones because we have had our current ones for awhile now. (Awhile being 8 months. You might think that seems short, but it is 1 month shy of my baby's entire life.) Billy's car was just about to go over the 50,000 mile warranty and the heat wasn't blowing so hot, so we decided to take it in for a little check up before the warranty ran out. So, off I go to the BMW dealership. They treat you like a queen there, so I felt a little weird in my workout clothes as they whisked me out of the car and inside. The waiting area was filled with business men in suits and stay at home moms with wedding ring bling so big that their torsos were all tilted slightly to their left. What in the world am I doing here?! We just got the car from the auction (thanks to my dad) for a sweet deal. I am way out of my league. The nice salesman brings me to his office to "discuss the concerns" of the car. He starting reading the paperwork and chuckled as he said "getting close to finishing that warranty". I didn't realize how embarrassing it would be to bring a car in with 49,978 miles for all the free service I could while it lasted. I told him about the heat issue and waited while he typed away. He said "I'll tell you what, lets complain about everything we can so they can check everything out for you." SWEET! Wait, is it really that obvious that I am out of place here? He started rattling off all these things "complaints" and putting them in the computer. One of them was that I supposedly complained about the drive belt looking cracked. Yup, if you were in my driveway this morning, you would have seen the bottom half of me sticking out from under the car, yelling about the cracked drive belt. Yeah right. I ended up leaving in a loaner car and we got a call later in the day that they were doing a couple thousands dollars worth of work to the car...for free...score! Front brakes, fixing some oil leak, power steering drive...I don't even remember it all. I guess it paid off to suffer through some embarrassment. I can handle quite a bit of it for a flipping awesome deal. Oh, and that heat issue? There is a dial on the dash that was set to cold. Sheesh. Embarrassment...again.


What great music!

In my quest to run this half marathon, the "workout music" playlist in my ipod is on overload . It is interesting the music that people run to...stuff they generally wouldn't listen to, I think. I suppose everyone needs the upbeat, motivational kind of music. I particularly like the ghetto rap that makes me feel like my feet are in a fight with the pavement. The downfall is that it throws my whole pace off becuause I start running with the beat, stomping ever so hard with every step. My arms have to get involved too, of course. You are supposed to move them while running, right? Well, probably not as dramatically as I do. I think my run looks more like a dance. A really bad dance. It is a good thing I haven't actually seen it, because I might quit. One song that I have really enjoyed lately caught my attention the other day. You see, with any song I have the tendency to make up my own words and really, really think they are right. Unfortunatly, I can't understand half the things that are said in my running ghetto music. Probably better. When I actually understood some words, I was surprised. "Car and a crib she 'bout to pay 'em both off, and her bills are paid on time...thats why I love her." Wait a minute...I have good credit and I am not late on my bills. That is seriously the requirement for love? I could have had a filthy rich rapper that wrote a hit about his love of my money management? Oh well, guess I missed that one. Hope my discovery helps some of you single ladies, though.



Today I peed with the door open. Yes, you read that right. I have discovered that it is way easier than to try and secure 2 babies far enough apart for them to not attack each other. I have to constantly peer around the corner because Cooper is very jealous of Gavins plentiful head of hair and will take any opportunity to grab a handful of it. Huh. As I write this, it sounds really silly. What am I going to do if he does? Run into the living room in front of the glass doors with my pants around my ankles? Maybe I should rethink this one. I decided to brave a walk again today. Cooper was really grumpy and not going to sleep and I knew he would in the stroller. I used the double stroller and that thing is the length of a limo. It is literally like trying to steer a cruise ship down the sidewalk. Once I got to walking, I remembered today was gardener day. There were trucks everywhere with men and their equipment all over the sidewalk. I had to bump 40 lbs of kids and their "limo" up and down the curbs to avoid all their stuff. But they were sleeping! I wouldn't dare stop. I was prepared to walk all day. Thankfully, I am done for the week. This was the first and it won't be 3 days in a row again. Hallelujah! I literally sang that chorus as I buckled Cooper into the car today. I just need to spend tomorrow shopping. I mean recuperating. Wait, aren't they one in the same?


What a day!

When we first moved here to California, it took me about 4 months to get my nursing lisence transferred from NY. After spending way too many days bored and my skin was practically leather, I decided I better do something in the meantime. This amazing family had a 2 year old at the time and needed a nanny just to finish the school year. I was in. 12 weeks of hanging out at the park, watching noggin and enjoying myself during naptime. Sweet. Oh yeah, and I got paid for it. Really sweet. Fast forward a year to this past summer when the family came to visit Cooper and told me they were adopting a baby. They were taking maternity leave, but wondered if I was interested in keeping the baby in January when they had to go back to work. Sure! I can be with my baby, take care of another and get paid. I was in. Again. Well, today was that day in January. I underestimated the power of two infants in the same house with one person to watch them. Cooper has learned how to make seal noises. Loud ones...ones he quickly taught to Gavin and soon it felt like I was standing on Pier 39 in San Francisco. Cooper also likes his mom to himself, I guess. He really didn't like that I was giving another baby a bottle and the only thing to help was for him to be the same time. Fun. I decided the best thing was for me to go for a walk. I strapped Cooper in the baby bjorn, put Gavin in the stroller and off we went. It was 44 degrees this morning, but by the time I went walking, it was 64. Wearing jeans and a sweater, carrying a 20lber and pushing a 20lber in a massive jogging stroller, well, you might imagine how I looked. I was sweating like crazy and hardly made it around the block. It took me longer to get ready for the walk than the actual walk itself. Maybe they will be good playmates. Eventually. Maybe I will come home one day without spit up on me. All I know is, I have never been so thankful for 4:30 in all my life.



I woke up this morning to a pile of clean clothes on the sofa that has been there for 2 (okay, maybe 3) days, dishes in the sink and carpet...ohh carpet...that when my poor child picks up a dropped passie, it comes back covered in equal portions of my freely falling out hair and carpet fuzz. Lovely. All this can be explained by what I said to my husband this morning...I want nothing more than to blog and make crafts for the rest of my life. Ahhh. I am obsessed. I stayed up late into the night searching for the perfect blog background and FINALLY I found this freakishly guessed it...baroque! On to another obsession. I love baroque. I can't get enough of it. I found myself squealing in Michael's over the weekend when I found velvet baroque scrapbook paper. And guess what?? Clearance! 50% off, baby. My heart practically exploded for the entire store to see. My obsessions keep spilling over into more...clearance. The sight of those red signs in Target get me running over people to get to them. It is like nothing else in the store exhist, there is a light shining down on the racks and you hear "dun, dun, dun, duuu!" as you get close. Billy tries to make me avoid them because I am so drawn into yes, even the 15% off ones. The good stuff comes in the middle of a weekday when no one is shopping and Cooper and I can scour the aisles at a "painfully slow speed" as Billy would say. Don't be mistaken people. I am not cheap, just frugal. Well, I should really break from this and help the baby that is making seal noises and crawling up my back, leaving a trail of drool on the chair. Maybe after his nap we can go to Target. :) No, clean the house.


Am I really going to do this?

Okay, so a huge reason for me starting this blog, is that I am running (psh, attempting) a 1/2 marathon in March. Sunday starts my 11 weeks of training and I am pretty sure I am going to have my butt handed to me. sigh. I thought if I announce it to the world, I could have no chance of backing out. Billy already offered to pick me up half way Jack Bauer style, and peel away without anyone even noticing. Hopefully that will not happen...I am sure not telling anyone if it does. I will keep updating you with my training progress. If my post start saying things like "passed out in a random persons yard today" give me some encouragement. :)

I am blogging!

I have been thinking about starting a blog for awhile now and being up with Cooper alot the past few nights has given me lots of time to think about it. I don't think that my day to day is very interesting, but trying to manage being the girlie girl that I used to be with having one very active 8 month old, does produce its fair share of laughs. So, here it goes...enjoy!
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